You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
