OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
