The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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