i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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