is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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