Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
