Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
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