Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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