Non-Jews are for practice
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
