how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
