Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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