I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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