The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
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Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
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I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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