she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I'm at about main and main street
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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