Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
