I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I would ride that face into the sunset
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I am mentally ready for anal.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
