So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
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