I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
