Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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