Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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