I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize