you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
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