No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
