who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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