Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Randomize
