1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
