I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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