i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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