thus making me awesome and them whores
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
