she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
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