More tranny stories later!
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
