Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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