i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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