and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
