So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
