just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
