So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
