white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
