I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
cat food counts as protein by the way
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
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