she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Randomize
