Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
