I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
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There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
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You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
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