some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Randomize
