umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
