god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
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