so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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