I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
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It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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