Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
