He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
