We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize