Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
whose ass print is on the piano?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize