just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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