dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
