You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
