its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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