my text book just quoted the cookie monster
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
