Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
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